Building Healthy Boundaries

“I can’t think of any better representation of beauty than someone who is unafraid to be herself.”

Emma Stone

We live in a society that conditions us to believe that we’re not enough and everyone else should come before us. In this world, you must have the courage to go the other way.

We have confused putting ourselves first and meeting our own needs with being selfish (especially as women), but that’s far away from the truth. 

What is actually true is that, in fact, the only way for you to be able to help others and be present for the ones you love is if you have helped yourself first, if you have met your needs first, if you have filled your cup first.

I truly believe that neglecting ourselves, acting as martyrs and putting others first are steps towards toxicity and unhealthy relationships. Why? Because you are not giving to them out of your abundant place, out of your overflow. You are giving from a place of lack, and when we do that we become resentful and angry.

The best thing you can do for others is to put yourself first and lead by example. Show them what’s possible ❤️

I know what it feels like to be in that space, overcome by feelings of overwhelm and anxiety because you’re doing everything for everyone. It’s like everything but yourself is a priority.

For a long time in my life I have put myself last. Everyone used to come before me: my job, partner, friends, family, even strangers!!

Taking time for me, or even speaking up for myself, meant feeling an insane amount of guilt. I believe that deep down I didn’t think I deserved that time for myself and I always thought that to be a good person you had to put yourself last and sacrifice yourself for others. Oh how wrong I was!

This is what I’ve learned since: in order to be your best for others you must be the best for yourself first. None of this is selfish, it’s the ultimate act of love.

By setting solid boundaries you are protecting your energy so that you are able to give more to the ones you want to share your life with.

One of my favourite questions as a coach is: If I asked you to list all the things you love, how long would it take you to name yourself? 

It hits deeply doesn’t it? 

Many of the women I’ve worked with in the past few years hadn’t been on their own list for a very long time. I’ve helped them come home to themselves and carve out precious time to fill their own cup. At the nbd of our journey together I often ask “what are you going to do differently now that you wouldn’t have done before? Their answer is always something along the lines of “I will put myself first, I will show up for me first, I will stand up for myself, I will be kind to me”.

Imagine if we all walked around confident in who we are, having our own back, meeting our own needs, accepting of us and truly happy. We would live with no judgment towards ourselves and others and we will be able to positively influence not only our family and friends but strangers too.

I would love to live in that world and I truly believe we can ❤️

What are Boundaries?

Boundaries are the way we show others how we want them to interact with us. It’s how we say “this is where you stop and I begin”.

By setting and communicating our boundaries we create a life that is free of guilt and that is truly aligned with our values, vision and purpose.

Setting healthy boundaries can help you:

⭐️ Increase your confidence and self-esteem

⭐️ Balance your mental and emotional health

⭐️ Stir away from overwhelm and burnout

⭐️ Influence other people’s behaviour towards you

⭐️ Protect your energy

⭐️ Develop your autonomy and identity

Time to think about you.

The hard truth is that unhealthy boundaries, if ignored, can create feelings of anxiety, burnout, not feeling enough and even a loss of our sense of self (feeling lost).

But I get it, even knowing all these things it can be hard to step forward and start setting healthy boundaries.

As soon as you think about doing something for yourself the little voice starts:

💔 “People are not going to be happy about this, you’re letting everyone down.”

💔 “You’re being selfish, others are more important than you.”

💔 “They are going to think you’ve changed.”

💔 “They’re going to leave you.”

Sounds familiar? I’ve struggled with this for a long time too.

Here’s another truth: the most selfless thing you can do for someone you love it to work on yourself and look after yourself first.

Sounds crazy huh? Believe me, I know. But think about it. How can you fully give to the ones you love if you are pouring from an empty cup?

Life with healthy boundaries

Get ready beautiful soul, this is what’s waiting for you.

Having healthy boundaries will allow you to operate from a place of abundance rather than scarcity.

This means that when you do give to others (time, attention, help for example), you will be giving from your overflow, from something that you have more of, not from your reserve tank. Can you feel the difference?

Let me paint a picture of what life is like when we set healthy boundaries:

❤️ Being able to say No, without feeling guilty.

❤️ Not care about what people think.

❤️ Feeling that you are being treated with respect and your voice is heard.

❤️ Your needs are being met (because you look after yourself AND you also communicate them clearly).

❤️ You have so much self-acceptance and compassion that nothing feels like a failure.

❤️ You recognise when other people’s expectations are unreasonable and you stand up for yourself.

Just imagine.

“It’s ok to speak up for yourself, be assertive and refuse disrespect. It doesn’t make you a bitch. It makes you someone who is setting healthy boundaries.”

Karen Salmansohn

How can I help you set solid boundaries and feel more joyful, fulfilled and supported in your life?

Our own unique story shows us how we got to where we are now. I want to know your story, I’m not here to give you a to-do list on how to set healthy boundaries. I want us to discover what brought you where you are now and heal from the root cause while making changes that are unique to you and feel good for your own journey, so that you can embrace a new way of living. 

Part of my life purpose is to bridge the gap between science and spirituality, so the journey we embark on is very unique. 

The very first step is doing your Astrological Natal Chart, to take a closer look at your personality traits, unique skills, strengths and blind spots. I find that doing this at the beginning of our journey together helps people gain awareness and clarity (which are often 50% of the work!). 

Once we have your blueprint we move on to creating a clear vision of where you want to go and start the work. 

You are in charge of what you bring to each session and you will find that this beautiful journey can take us to interesting and unexpected places. We trust that this is exactly where you need to be to achieve your transformation. 

We will take a look at how you’re living your life and what got you to feel the way you feel now so that, with a deeper sense of understanding and self-awareness, we can create a long lasting way forward.

While Coaching is the main tool we will use throughout this process, each session is infused with intuitive wisdom, a close look to your personal astrology throughout the journey, the use of oracle cards and different visualisation and meditation techniques, depending on where the journey takes us, it’s very unique to each person. In my sessions, I also often include “mini trainings” on how the brain works. I am a huge believer that knowledge is power and very often the mere understanding of why your brain is doing what it’s doing helps you be in control of your mind and thoughts.

Working with me you will learn how to reprogram your brain and get rid of the limitations that have led your life up until this moment as well as how to use those powerful and invisible energies that are abundantly available to us. This allows you to create an effortless life because you’re leading in a way that is most natural to your soul. 

You will get to the end of our journey together with a deep sense of self-love and an inner knowing that you have your own back. You will have learned to say no without guilt and have built your unique toolkit to carry on living your life from an abundant place.

If you feel called to explore this further or you have questions, get in touch through the contact form below or book a free 30 mins consultation. 

What I bring to the table:

Coaching Programs

Let’s have a chat and see how we can work together, no pressure, no obligation.

✨What’s possible👇

“Working with Gloria changed my life. I found out who I really am, I found out that I was carrying around from the past a lot of things I was unaware of that were affecting my life. I found out what I have to do to feel good. I found out what I need to feel good. I improved the way I express myself to others. I understood that every person hides a world and it’s important to always try to be kind. I learned that nothing should be taken for granted and that communication is fundamental. I learnt that knowing yourself is not easy, it takes time and it can be painful but when it happens you feel the most powerful person in the world and there’s nothing better.”