Expansive & Abundant Living14 November 2022
How to stop being your mind’s slave and bring inspiration, excitement, freedom and breadth of vision into your life
by Gloria Battini
It’s the middle of the night. Heart is pounding, thoughts are racing and an increased sense of dread takes over you: How the fuck did I get here?
Wasn’t I someone with big dreams once? What happened?
I’ve been in the same old job for ages and haven’t felt excited about it since day 2. Everyone seems to be getting “somewhere” in life but I feel stuck.
Stuck in a relationship.
Stuck in a place that I don’t love.
Stuck with friends who have been judging me (and I too have judged) since high school.
Stuck in my parent’s expectations.
Stuck in boredom.
Stuck in pain.
Stuck in the past.
Stuck with a 3 day old pair of socks on the floor that I refuse to pick up because I want to see if he will, if he actually notices and cares.
Stuck with unwashed hair and a 3 weeks due manicure.
Stuck smiling on the outside while screaming on the inside.
Stuck in a life where I feel drifting. Drifting through a universe that has let me down. Drifting through darkness attempting to chase my own destiny and refusing to see that, maybe, the reason why I’m not getting there is because I gave up a long time ago.
And all of a sudden I blink. And it’s morning. And groundhog day starts. Until a sleepless night fills me with dread again…
Hands up if you ever felt this way 🙋♀️
Add severe anxiety, OCD and a high pressure job and you have painted the exact picture of my life up until 5 years ago.
I know how the inside of that feels, from the heart and through the mind. It’s horrible.
Add a dose of intrusive thoughts, negative self-talk and shame towards your own body and this cocktail gets even bitterer.
So what DID actually happen then? How did we get here?
While the answer is different for everyone as we all experience life in our own unique way, there is also something that we all have in common: the Brain.
The Brain: Your Best Friend / Your Worst Enemy AKA What I wish I was taught in school instead of Latin (hours of my life I’m never gonna get back 🙄)
Here is how I understood it up until a few years ago, see if this resonates with you: I thought that everything we think is part of who we are and we can’t control it/change it, that the brain always wants our best and that reality is just life as it is and there is no creative process involved.
Fast forward 5 years, a coaching certification and a deep passion for neuroscience later and I can tell you that I know for a fact that those things aren’t true. I’ve come to learn that:
- Not only “you are not your thoughts” but you can also DECIDE how and what to think;
- Your brain’s function is to protect you, NOT to make you happy, and that isn’t always a good thing;
- In your life you are the creator and have the power to produce for yourself whichever reality you want. No, for real.
I’m not going to write pages of research on the subject of neuroscience BUT I will share some basic principles that have made all the difference for me so you can see exactly what I’m on about here. Keep reading.
There is a very simple principle I learned from the work of Dr Joe Dispenza: we are creatures of habit.
We think 60-70K thoughts in one day, 90% of those are exactly the same ones we had the day before (can you believe that?! 90%!! 😱). This means that we live a huge part of our lives on autopilot.
We create the same reality over and over again, by thought alone.
Thinking the same thoughts leads us to creating the exact same brain activity every day, which then leads us to experience the exact same life and emotions.
We literally live in the past. Yeah. Read that again.
You get it? You are not actually stuck! You are just driving on autopilot (AKA being your mind’s slave)! And the best news is that you can take back control of the steering wheel at any time!!
Taking back control and creative power over your life
Now that you know the basics it’s all about getting your life to navigate towards the direction you actually want, rather than let your mind’s currents drift you down in the abyss.
In order to take back control you must become aware of your autopilot (or your default thoughts), and stop making the same choices that you made the day before.
Here’s even better news: we said that 90% of our thoughts are the same every day, does it mean that to create a different reality for ourselves we have to change all 90% of them? Absolutely not! Just changing a few of your core and not very helpful thoughts can have a huge impact on your life at large and help you create a completely different reality.
Let me give you a personal example so you can see how it works in practice.
I shared earlier that one of the things I struggled with a few years ago was body image. For a very long time in my life (and probably it has a lot to do with bullying) I thought of myself as ugly. No matter what people would say, what I was wearing, what compliments I would get, none of that mattered, I felt ugly and deeply uncomfortable in my body.
The result of this one specific thought (“I am ugly”) was detrimental to my mental and emotional health to say the least. I had no confidence and very low self-esteem, I was never happy with myself, I had a deep sense of shame whenever I looked in the mirror and no boundaries in my intimate relationships (as a result of the low sense of self-worth).
No wonder I struggled with anxiety and OCD, that’s a lot to take on mentally and emotionally! And all as a result of one very specific thought. This was my autopilot and the journey of my life was headed down towards the abyss.
Shortly after I started my own healing journey, now over 7 years ago, I started to slowly morph that thought into something less negative. I started with “I’m ok the way I am”, then “there is nothing ugly in me”, to “I am more than my body” to finally “I love myself for who I am”.
It wasn’t an overnight change but I can guarantee you that it allowed me to create a much different life experience for myself and an autopilot that, instead of drifting towards the abyss, sails towards the most beautiful sunsets. And I feel that deep in my heart.
- I became confident in my body no matter where it finds itself at (we are in constant change).
- I choose to relate to people who inspire me and make me feel loved, appreciated and respected, without feeling guilty for distancing myself from certain people.
- I have solid healthy boundaries.
- I was able to get certified as a coach and start my own business.
I no longer struggle with anxiety and OCDAnd more!!!
Abundant and Expansive Living: How to create a life of freedom, excitement and deep inspiration
If what you dream of is Freedom (whatever that means to you) then we need to start by identifying what your thoughts around this are.
- What does freedom mean to you?
- What is preventing you from experiencing that in your life?
- What are you telling yourself around this topic?
Bring the autopilot to the surface and actively change it.
A life of expansion and abundance starts from having expansive and abundant thoughts, and it’s up to you to put that in your own mind. Nobody else will.
I really like to work on my thoughts first thing in the morning but it’s great to get into the habit of bringing awareness to the autopilot as you go through the day. Literally catch your own thoughts and change them right there and then into something that is more useful to you. It might feel awkward at the beginning but I guarantee you that if you do this enough times the process will become easier and easier and before you know it you will not only have a brand new autopilot but a life that, just a few months (sometimes even weeks!) earlier seemed and felt completely different.
In creating your new autopilot and your new reality focus on what you want, not what you don’t want.
Focus on creating an inner dialogue that sounds like your biggest cheerleader.
Create space to feel the emotions that you want to feel even before the thing you want has manifested in your life.
You are far away from being just a passenger on the ship of your life, you are the one in charge my friend.
Now go, and remember who you are ❤️
Gloria is a certified Life and Personal Performance Coach (ICF), Narcissistic Abuse Survivor and has also fully recovered from OCD. She helps women come home to themselves by healing from the aftermath of toxic relationships, overcoming anxiety, setting healthy boundaries and re-establishing a deep connection to their soul. Her unique method combines Coaching, Astrology and Moonology
While Coaching is the main tool she uses, each session is infused with intuitive wisdom, a close look at your personal astrology, the use of oracle cards and different visualisation and meditation techniques, it’s very unique to each person. In her sessions, she also often includes “mini trainings” on how the brain works. Gloria believes that knowledge is power and very often the mere understanding of why your brain is doing what it’s doing helps you be in control of your mind and thoughts.
Working with Gloria you will learn how to reprogram your brain and get rid of the limitations that have led your life up until this moment as well as how to use those powerful and invisible energies that are abundantly available to us. This allows you to create an effortless life because you’re leading in a way that is most natural to your soul.
If you feel called to explore this further or you have questions, get in touch through the contact form below or book a free 30 mins consultation.